To Hope Is To Love
by camus.luneburg.73
Summary: Life is full of promises, even hoping against hope.


He was losing hope. He knew it the moment he met Lui, yet he still went on, knowing his end. Naoji knew all along, it was wrong to feel for someone who could never

be yours. Each day since he met Lui, he knew he would never be the same. The days gone by was almost a suicide, yet he pretended to smile at Lui knowing that

from the core of his heart, he was hurting.

In two weeks, Lui would marry his fiancee soon, and Naoji accepted it. It was enough for him that Lui stayed beside him, though he knew Lui would to marry her

because he could elevate his status more in the society and it had been decided long ago which made him helpless. It hurt so bad but he would endure it because no

one knows how he felt for Lui, not even Lui. The reason was because he knew the society would judge him and maybe Lui would avoid him, after all, it was not

acceptable, it was rather a scandal. So he kept his feelings for Lui deep in his heart, silently.

He never knew that love could brought him so much hapiness and at the same time, pain. He wondered himself if he was a masochist, he admitted to himself that no

matter how much he love Lui, he couldn't say it to him and couldn't even express it the way he wanted it to be, and it pained him. Oh yes, he loved him, so much to

the point of losing him would mean death.

Naoji looked up at the sky, it was a beautiful night, many stars are hanging on the sky, like a diamond dust which could capture the hearts of people, compare to

himself. "I wish I could be a star" he said it without a thought. " And why would you want to be a star, Naoji." It was Lui's voice that startled him. As he faced him, Lui

made a frown to him, as usual, he was breathtakingly handsome, he wore a very fine and obviously expensive clothes,lavender pants and white long sleeve. He

looked very elegant with his unruly hair that made him momentarily dazed.

"Lui, it's you.",the only thing he said after several seconds. Lui rather looked suspicious of him. "There seems to be a problem, I assume." Lui spoke as usual, in an

absolute tone,making Naoji smile, it was very much like Lui. "It was nothing of importance. So, are all the guests had been gone now?"he asked but Lui didn't answer

his question, instead, he was walking towards Naoji. " Why?" Lui asked. Not getting what he mean, Naoji faced Lui with askance on his face.

" As I said earlier, why would you want to be a star." Based on Lui's tone, Naoji guessed that Lui doesn't really want to repeat himself saying such thing . " I want to

be a star...because they are very bright, unlike me." He answered him without looking. He knew he sounded pathetic, Lui would dislike him.

"I wouldn't want you to become a star." Lui calmly stated compared to Naoji which was clearly confused. The moment Lui turned to him, his heart skipped a

beat...and it doubled upon hearing his next words. The words he wished that Lui would say it no matter what the circumstances were. He imagined how sweet those

words were if it would became true. And he was overwhelmed by those very words Lui uttered.

"Because I knew you would shine, and would eventually leave me, which I couldn't stand. I am always hoping that you would stay permanently beside me, Naoji. I

knew that I am a selfish man and I would rather keep you by my side." Lui caught his attention.

He was speachless, he wanted to say something but he was afraid that Lui would be gone if he spoke. Not believing what he heard, he just simply gazed at Lui, which

in turn, Lui gave a serious look on his eyes as he resumed his steps towards Naoji who was not moving.

Lui halted when he was very close to him, he could smell him, a mixture of soap and sweet aroma he new that that particular smell only emitted from Lui. Lui's left

hand touched Naoji's cheeks, delicately, as if afraid that it would be blemished. Gently, he traced Naoji's parted lips.

The next thing Naoji knew they were kissing like no tomorrow. Lui seemed relieved that he responded his kisses with the same intensity and it made him craved for

more. He was touching Naoji everywhere, pressing, smelling, kissing... which made Naoji moaned, and he could feel Lui smiled from his lips.

The kiss lasted for several minutes but it seemed to Naoji like forever. He was breathless and suddenly, reality claimed his senses. He was embarrassed at Lui and yet

hopeful at the same time. Lui held him still on his hips and looked straight into Naoji's eyes. Naoji tried to avert his eyes but Lui turned his head slightly to make him

look at him and Lui smiled .

The kind of smile that Naoji never knew Lui would be capable of showing. It was a genuine smile of love and longing. He never imagined that unguarded face . Naoji

knew that he was staring like a fool, he couldn't believe what was hapenning now. He tilted his head and immediately saw the very bright moon that threatened to

fall.

He focused his eyes once again on Lui, those purple iris that had drawn him the first time he looked into it, always cold and detached, would looked at him lovingly.

The next words Lui uttered was the most memorable one that Naoji would remember it on his heart for eternity.

"I love you, Naoji."

The sincerity on Lui's voice made Naoji cry, it's a shame that he couldn't utter a single word. He was so glad and relieved that their feelings were mutual. "Always. I

know that I don't have the right to do those things to you. My marriage was pending, yet, you always occupy in my thoughts. I always asked myself, how come

meeting you changed myself. Tell me Naoji, is it so wrong to be with you?" Lui hugged him.

Naoji replied as he leaned forward to feel Lui's warmth. "I don't know if it's wrong or not, but...I have been loving you since forever like it was made to be right." He admitted. He looked up once again to Lui,and finally said those words he'd been dying to say. "I love you Lui, always."

As tears once again find its path on his cheeks, Naoji was laughing, relieved and weary to the revelations they just shared. Lui kissed him once more, this time, it was very gentle and promising, slow and luxuriously.

"Don't leave me. I need you. I will settle my issues once and for all." Lui whispered that seemed to Naoji more huskier than ever.

" My Naoji, promise me that you will stay, that you will be always beside me no matter what." It was so sweet that Naoji couldn't resist on smiling.

"I promise, Lui, with all my love."

Lui seemed satisfied to his answer and just hugged him. He wondered how mysterious love could be, he had been sad like eternity yet, here he was now, happy and

contented. He now believed that love indeed find it's way home..to where Lui always would be. Beside him. How lucky he was, thought to himself and feel the body

next to him with a tender smile.

He can smell dawn anytime and eventually morning will come. He was now looking forward to spending the morning with Lui, his happiness and all. Silently, thanking

for having Lui. Wishing no more. He never stopped hoping and that's the beauty of it.

Ah,life...how beautiful it was...

END


End file.
